The InBeetWeeners - Introduction and Episode I - The Reluctant Exorciser

The InBeetWeeners were a series of brief monologues intended to bridge gaps between vignettes or sketch comedy pieces. I wrote 5 Episodes so far, and I'll publish them here and maybe write some more....

So... Episode 1!

Episode I: The Reluctant Exorciser.

More Exorcising! More Exorcising! I hear that every day it seems. Like I’m the only one who knows how or something like that. 

I mean were told to take a stand and face our demons, aren’t we? But noooo. People instead rely on the likes of me to do it.

Fine. Ill do the exorcising. 

Ill go to the farmhouse because it’s always a farm house. Demons apparently can’t possess city-dwellers. 

There’s Ma and Pa Kettle... all religious and stuff prayin’ holdin’ their bibles cryin’ for the little girl whos sayin’ and actin’ the crazy. 

Turns out half of them aren’t possessed at all more like they’re on drugs. But good drugs. Apparently.

So she’s speaking in tongues and twistin’ her head around… If I acted the fool like that as a kid, my dad would give me a good whoopin’.

Now THAT’s how to get the devil out! Hey maybe that’s why they call it beating the hell out of you.

I’ll try that.

I’ll be all like – “I command you demon!!!! Name yourself!!!”

The demon will say I’m the one that possesses-

WHAP!

I'd kick its ass. Demon bitch will be running back to the herd of pigs it came from. 

Suddenly Exorcising seems a little more fun! My New Years Resolution: More Exorcising!

I’m going to make business cards… Acme Exorcise: It’ll Beat the Hell Out of You!

WHAP!